Middle Aged White Man Blues

Lyrics by Tom Quinlan

Thirty Years of Corporate Life

I never broke a sweat

They keep payin’ me more money

I keep gettin’ deeper in debt

I got three kids in college

That never pass a course

A wife I can’t afford to keep

And sure can’t afford to divorce

My neck is in a noose

I got the middle aged white man blues

Workin’ for a pimple faced, pencil neck,

Harvard MBA snot

I got suits twice as old as him

And three times as smart

Got a secretary whose never typed or filed

A letter in her life

She’s uglier than a bulldog

And meaner than my wife

I always seem to lose

I got the middle aged white man blues

(chorus)

My eyese are gettin’ weaker

My stomachs gettin’ fat

The only hair that I can grow

Is in the middle of my back

I’m still horny as a teenager

I still got the will

But the body won’t start workin’

Without that little blue pill

I might shoot myself

Not even leave a note

Or I might just disappear

Sail away in my boat

Aw, who am I kiddin’

My life’s just one big joke

And I’ll keep pluggin’ away

‘Till I have that big hear attack or stroke

I was born to lose

I got the middle aged white man blues