Screwed at the Weigh-in

It was a fateful day

exactly one year ago

My brother, Pete, and I were fishing

at the Pontchartrain Rodeo

That tragic day

was the day my brother died

From a baiting accident

just too horrible to describe

As I held Pete’s dieing body

I swore I’d never fish again

Never hold another rod

Never touch another fin

But with his last breath Pete said, “No!

You’ve got to fish – and win!”

“To die out here for nothing

would be the greatest sin.”

With Pete’s lifeless body in my arms

I stood in the boat and cried

Then whispered one last prayer

as I tossed him over the side

With a fist raised in the air

I vowed to honor Pete’s last wish

And I yelled, “The time is now!

‘Cause now it’s time to fish!”

Like a madman I fished

and with every cast a bite

Fished through raging thunderstorms

that lasted through the night

To the gunwales fish were piled

by the breaking of the dawn

I finally turned the boat toward shore

when all my beer was gone

With all the competition there

I quickly took a look

And saw there were no bigger fish

than the smallest I had hooked

The other’s fish had all been weighed

And I could see it in their eyes

That once mine hit the scales

I’d sweep every fishing prize

But when the judge walked to the scale

something seemed so very strange

Was it the dark glasses that he wore?

or the red tip on his white cane?

What’s this? The scale’s in brail?

How could this be fair?

Then I saw the current leader

had the judges same red hair.

(Chorus)

I got screwed at the weigh-in

I got screwed at the weigh-in

I got screwed at the weigh-in

I got screwed at the weigh-in

That’s when I realized

Pete’s dream was not to be

As every prize went to a member

of that redhead family

And by the fifth award to one

of those inbred red haired geeks

I couldn’t bear to watch

So I left to take a leak

I’m not a violent man

No harm to any would I wish

No creature needs to fear me

Except, of course, a fish

I’ve not been one to carry

Any sort of grudge

But one day for Pete’s sake

I’ll kill that blind redheaded judge

(Chorus)

I got screwed at the weigh-in

I got screwed at the weigh-in

I got screwed at the weigh-in

I got screwed at the weigh-in